Well, its 9:00 am and I have already done the dishes, bleached the stains out of the sink, planned dinner ( Nachos made from left over taco fixings), vacuumed the house, have a load of laundry in the dryer and one in the washing machine. While Molly is still napping I will go in and spray down our shower with Mildew Remover and start cleaning the bedroom.
I should be happy to get all this accomplished, but I feel rather sad. Sad because next Thursday my maternity leave and family leave is exhausted and I have to return back to work. All I can think of is how much I'm going to miss giving Molly her baths, and feeding her through out the day, and rocking her to sleep for her naps. Seeing that beautifully goofy toothless grin. How much I will miss making Declans breakfast in the morning. Cuddle with him on the couch during Mollys nap while we watch some really dumb cartoon he loves.
It makes me sad that I will miss all that.
But at the same time, Im really grateful. I got an extra six weeks of leave ( thank you Family Leave!) to spend with Molly that wasn't available available when Declan was an infant. I don't have to put her in daycare and trust my precious infant to the care of strangers, trusting that they will mother her like I would. I am so grateful and happy that her grandma lives with us, and wants to care for Molly while I work. Grandma will also care for Declan, and I know she loves them more than anything. She will help me take care of the house and really who could ever ask for anything more? I owe her so much for her help and the love she gives to us all.
And I am really grateful for the wonderful boss I have. Instead of working a 5 day work week, I asked and was given a 4 day work week, so I will only be out of the house Tues - Thursday from 7 - 5 including the 45 minutes commute each way.
I am blessed in so many ways, with a wonderful supportive family.
But still.... going back to work is bittersweet.
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